Today I get to lounge around without taking care of anyone. It is completely weird. Quiet. A little uncomfortable- at least for now. I know that any other day I would probably be thinking to myself, “Oh I would just die for a day by myself.” But in all reality, it is a little adjustment to get used to being alone.

I dropped Copey off at Nana and Grampy’s this morning. I surrendered to the Life Boat. They offered to watch her and it took me two days to decide- why? My best guess is my feeling like it is defeat. I am defeated. Even in my grumpiness towards Copeland these days, I still find it hard to release and know that I DO need help. I DO need to take it easy. Not just for my own sake but for the little man inside of me. In some ways, I let all these negative thoughts like, man you can’t even do it with one child- how will you manage two…sleep deprived? Logically, I know that these are just lies and not reality. I know I can do it…it will just be an adjustment.

So on my day of rest, I went to Wally World to pick up some stocking stuff, then stopped by my favorite place of comfort when I can’t work out- Starbucks. Now, I am leisurely checking my email and sipping on my grande soy no water chai latte. Hmmm…what will I do next- maybe I’ll actually watch Rachel Ray’s show and wrap some presents and then sleep. Oh, and eat of course. Thank the Lord for Nana and Grampy…they’ve given me a day of much needed and recommended rest.

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1 Comment

  1. My dear sweetheart…I\’m so glad you had this day. I only wish we were closer to take the burden as well. We would do it in a heartbeat, you know. It is scary thinking about two instead of one, but somehow, you will do it and you will have the strength to bear it up and accomplish this wonderful task that God has before you. You and Josh will be there for each other. May His glorious countenance come upon you and give you such a peace right now. Can\’t wait to see you!! Love, Mom Chadwick


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