Today I get to lounge around without taking care of anyone. It is completely weird. Quiet. A little uncomfortable- at least for now. I know that any other day I would probably be thinking to myself, “Oh I would just die for a day by myself.” But in all reality, it is a little adjustment to get used to being alone.
I dropped Copey off at Nana and Grampy’s this morning. I surrendered to the Life Boat. They offered to watch her and it took me two days to decide- why? My best guess is my feeling like it is defeat. I am defeated. Even in my grumpiness towards Copeland these days, I still find it hard to release and know that I DO need help. I DO need to take it easy. Not just for my own sake but for the little man inside of me. In some ways, I let all these negative thoughts like, man you can’t even do it with one child- how will you manage two…sleep deprived? Logically, I know that these are just lies and not reality. I know I can do it…it will just be an adjustment.
So on my day of rest, I went to Wally World to pick up some stocking stuff, then stopped by my favorite place of comfort when I can’t work out- Starbucks. Now, I am leisurely checking my email and sipping on my grande soy no water chai latte. Hmmm…what will I do next- maybe I’ll actually watch Rachel Ray’s show and wrap some presents and then sleep. Oh, and eat of course. Thank the Lord for Nana and Grampy…they’ve given me a day of much needed and recommended rest.