It’s 5:15 a.m.’ I’ve been up, I think, since 2 trying to comfort my spit uppy child. Now, I’ve given up on sleeping for the night and I am waiting for the coffee to brew. Ryker is in my view straight ahead sitting all snuggled up in his pimp daddy swing- awake and making grunting noises. This morning I want to cry. I want to just fall on my knees in surrender and say, “I can’t do it.” I look back at today and see all those moments where I failed, where I said things to Copeland that I now regret and can’t believe I would even go there with my precious daughter. There is such ugliness in this heart of mine. The sleepless nights, the needy (but amazing and adorable) baby, a two year old, and trying to be a good wife are all weighing in on me. I am discouraged. I apologize for such a negative blog. I know that “this, too, shall pass.” But at the moment, I am empty. Needing my cup to be filled. Needing help. Maybe I just need some sleep.

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2 Comments

  1. I read both posts and you know you are totally normal. Every mom I know feels this way. Your ENCOURAGED post is awesome to get a word of encouragement like that…but know that we all struggle. And don\’t ever apologize for a \”depressing\” post…when you hide away the realities sometimes, it seems like you don\’t have them. When you share, it encourages others….that they might not be so alone.I love you!

  2. Hey Sistin, You are completely normal! Nobody told you that you need to be superwoman all the time anyway :)You probably need a real long turbo nap and a hike at GoGs and you\’ll be all better.Love, Joshy


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