The Mother and Hope in Me

I have come to realize the sensitivity I feel towards my child’s heart. I feel like sometimes I can feel or see inside the soul of my own daughter. I don’t know how to describe it. Of course, being my own daughter, she is extremely special to me- we are connected. I know that she is my daughter and I am her mother for a reason. Sometimes I feel too much. Maybe it is a gift from God to see inside her sweet spirit. There have been a few times recently where I’ve watched her interact with others. Now, let me add this: I know that Copey is not Little Miss Perfect Angel. Usually, when I watch her she so wants friendship and sweetness between her and her friends. Sometimes, as some two or three year olds are, there is a “mean-ness” that the other child(ren) will do towards Copey. As I watch this, my heart breaks. Her face is so confused of why there was mean-ness in the first place. Oh, it is not fun to stand back and let her work through those emotions. She is so precious and compassionate and I don’t want her little personality to be jaded by the mean-ness of this world. I am so not looking forward to the days of drama in middle school or God forbid before that. I hate that. I hated it as a child. I never wanted/want anyone to be mad at me. I see that in her. This little window that I see through is so revealing to myself, of my own issues or weaknesses. I fear that her heart will be broken and I will have no way to comfort her. In that, I surrender to the one who can, Jesus. Just as I have come to realize that he is my only Comforter after all the hurt feelings, failed relationships, betrayed trusts, meanness, attempted friendships, life, jabs to the spirit. In Him, I find a friend. Sounds so cheesy to say that in this overly happy “my life is easy because I am a Christian and I don’t have a reality check” world. But it is True. I just pray that one day she sees that even through the daggers or life’s little warping way- that she is precious and wanted by Him.

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