I am preggos. Most of you know that we are having #3 by now, but I figured I would announce it to the world. Not sure how far along I am at this point…8 weeks, I think. We will find out in a couple of weeks when I head back to the midwife that delivered my son.
To say the least, I was shocked. The only reason I even took a test was because I felt super moody. And sure enough WHAM! the pee stick shocked me with the positive sign. I literally was shell shocked. I didn’t even know where to begin with emotions. My mind was so fixated on two kids and working towards my own personal fitness goals and marriage goals. And this threw me on my butt. I feel in the last week as the morning sickness has taken a turn for the worse (more on this later) my fitness inspiration has gone out the window. I have no desire to go spinning or workout or let alone teach anyone else. My motivation for work because of exhaustion and overwhelming-ness of life has simmered to nothing. And my marriage…well…I love my husband more than ever. I don’t understand how he sticks with me. The day I found out I was pregnant I told him within ten minutes of him being home and his first response was for me and how he knew this is not what I was thinking. He just smiled and said, “Kristin, this is a blessing! Think of how many people out there try and try.” So true. He gave me a new perspective…and an sense of peace. After all, if he, the bread winner is okay with this new addition…there is peace.
Not only has he been so welcoming to the new little baby in my tummy but so sensitive to my spirit. I don’t even think he knows what he is doing. Right now on top of all the hormonal changes and morning sickness, I keep getting “attacked” by my “thorns”…fever blisters. Yet, he still loves me just the same. I feel so ugly. So repulsive in the physical and the mental. Here is an example of how awful I feel:
Woke up feeling awful like I could actually puke (which I HATE and have NEVER ONCE thrown up with either previous pregnancies)
Low blood pressure
Couldn’t kick it even after yogurt, tea, oatmeal
Lil’ man had massive poop explosion calling for a team of two and a bath
After bath nearly fainted
Dry heaved over the toilet
Took shower- didn’t help
Finally just laid back down in bed for 30 minutes
…felt a little better but not really
In all of that, Josh stood by helping at every whim and with the kids. He is just in “go” mode…take care of Kristin, take care of the house, take care of the kids while Kristin can’t muster up the energy. I am SOOOO incredibly blessed to have such an amazing faithful servant loving husband. He has been my peace in all of this. Where would I be without him?
I know that all the first trimester stuff will be over in a bit…this too shall pass…but man, this is hard. And I am glad I have a husband who gets me.