seriously?! (the longest blog i have ever written)

Ever since Josh and I found out about getting pregnant, we have been reminded over and over how much God’s hand is in all of this. First, it all started with the positive pregnancy test. Half of the shock was from a recent conversation with Josh about our family plan. We were done with pregnancies and ready to just take a break and possibly just adopt if we wanted to in the future. So, of course, my first thought was, “God, seriously? You think I can handle another baby?” (ha). The other half of the shock as I looked at the pregnancy test was “how did that happen if we were ‘protected?” Either way, the positive was a positive and my emotions were haywire to say the least. I anxiously awaited Josh’s arrival from work. I dreaded telling the man who already had so much on his plate that yes, we were indeed having another baby. First reality of God’s peace and hand in this was when I told Josh, he reacted calmly and peacefully and ready to take on whatever God’s plan was for our family. I was shocked. And maybe you have to know my husband, but he is a very calculated man so this made no sense to me.
The next surprise came with the first appointment to check my pregnancy status. The ultrasound pulled up ready to tell me I was already 9 weeks along. I sure was feeling awful! And I was really nervous about the appointment for some reason. Our midwife started to giggle and say, “Well, everything looks great. And everything is going well. The reason you feel so horrible is there are two in there.” WHAT?!

(Long silence and shock)


(Long silence and shock and nervous giggle and relief of knowing there was a reason I was so sick)

And, oh man, how will I tell Josh…

There I was having my own little freak out, “Seriously God?! Me? I can barely handle two!”

But my faith was weak and still on the fringe of learning about trusting completely in Him for strength. I fretted at the thought of telling Josh again. I think this time it was more that I feared the reality of it. 2 more kids! 2 more babies to go through at least three months of no sleep. Not my forte. There were so many questions that instantly ran through my mind. Where would we all fit in our new home? What about our car? It isn’t big enough for all of us. What about financially? AH! My head was spinning as I heard our midwife mumble some words of encouragement but I wasn’t listening. I left her office and wasn’t planning on telling Josh till later. I figured I almost passed out so I wouldn’t want him to pass out in the middle of teaching a class. But, my sweet husband called me as soon as I was in the car, and there God was again. I told him “They both looked great.” His reaction was sort of like mine except he just started laughing hysterically. And then he said, “Well, obviously God is in this thing. And we are gonna push through, my love.”

Wow. What a response!

Here is another “Seriously, Lord?” My many questions of how were we going to do it piled up and piled up. But just as quickly as they piled up they were taken away. I immediately prayed over all the minor and major details of the pregnancy and the twins and how our whole world would change. I prayed specifically one night about the car situation. The next day my dad calls with an idea that Gail (his wife) came up with…they wanted give us their van. WHAT?! Yep. I couldn’t even believe it!

Another question, would we have to move? Our house only has three bedrooms and let alone no heat upstairs. Our two kids survived the past winter with little space heaters to make it through the night. Well, almost immediately my perspective changed on what a normal family would do…no, we wouldn’t move. Plenty of families share rooms. Now, I am not saying that we will stay here for decades but it will work for the next few years. And so the provisions roll on:

One day we came home from a bbq and found a like new crib sitting on our porch.

One day at church a sweet lady with twins approached us after hearing our news and said, “I’d love to help out in anyway I can. I can give you all their baby stuff if they are girls. And if not, car seats or whatever you need. I am here.”

At a women’s retreat, I immediately met two women who were mothers of twins who invited me to a Moms of Multiples Group in the Springs.

My great aunt, who has prayed for me since I was in my mother’s tummy, gave us a double stroller after hearing the news.

My husband’s job promotes him (twice).

And many more…but this one just moved Josh and I to tears last night. We were at a friend’s wedding- which was so much fun! We looked back at the end of the night and pointed out all details that took place for us to meet this special couple and were completely amazed. Long story, I know, and I am trying to be concise. We sat down at a table with two sweet older couples and an old Young Life friend. Turns out one of the couples did YL for 16 years. We knew plenty of the same people. We started talking about this and that…the twin pregnancy (of course), Old Colorado City neighborhood, possibly knowing a couple down the street that they knew, and what they did for their work. The man said, “Oh I work for an energy resource organization that audits old houses for energy efficiency.” Josh and I laughed as we explained how we wanted to do that to our house but its not like financially that was an option. And then this man, Howard, says, “Well, maybe you would qualify for some assistance with it.” We both laughed and said, “We are living off a teacher’s salary.” And he said, “Well, then you would most definitely qualify for our team to come in and insulate the walls and put in a new furnace and fix the upstairs non-heat issue…FOR FREE.” For free. WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?! For free. Shocked. Humbled. Amazed. Yes, even the question of how would my newborn babies stay warm enough upstairs this winter was answered…He sent us this opportunity to meet the kindest man yesterday who happened to be the executive director of an organization that helps families like us live a more warm, efficient, environmentally friendly life…for free.

I mean, are you in awe like I am?

4 responses to “seriously?! (the longest blog i have ever written)”

  1. Yes, we do serve an awesome God. I'll have to share sometime soon a similar thing that happened to Kurt and I this summer that continues to remind me God is in both the big and small things! Pretty incredible.blessings,sheila

  2. Kristen! This gave me chills! Thank you for sharing…so amazing to see God work in you and your families life!

  3. Oh, I am just always so amazed by what our God does to show us He loves us and to remind us that He truly does provide…physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. What a special season in your life to actually SEE so much of that!!! (So often we let our blinders of synicism and worldly-ideals completely rob us of that opportunity!)I'm so excited for you and Josh and your growing family!!!

  4. Hey Kristen, this is Tiffany, Tonya's sister. Loved reading your blog and I am so thankful you got to sit by Howard and Dale, what an amazing God ordained event! It was really good to see you at the bachelorette party and the wedding (you looked beautiful by the way). I just wanted to comment and re offer any help you may need. I would love to get to know your kiddos better so that when the twins are born and at the end of your pregnancy I can take them for you to help out. I think with the ages of my two younger ones it would be really easy for me to do that. I just thought it would be better to get some time with them before so that that they know who I am. Let me know what you think. We have plenty of twins in our family and I understand (as much as I can) how difficult the first few months can be and how helpful it is to have the older ones occupied. Would love to help in any way I can!

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