It’s been a year since I have asked for more. More of life, more of joy, more of Him. If He is who He says He is, there has to be more than this. Though I am still processing this year of searching and opening my eyes to a world that is far more crazy (in a good way) than I ever imagined, I feel it is time to write again. For so long, I would yearn to write something. It helps my soul to process. But not this past year. It was like my brain was in this hurricane of new epiphanies and knowledge, and I couldn’t grasp any words to fully describe what I experienced. I am still on this incredible journey, and I am so thankful for the journey. Each day, I learn more. I learn more of who He is. Who I am. Chains are broken and strong walls of protection broken down in surrender to my Papa in Heaven’s love. If I could sum up what I have taken in the past year it would be…
1. He is closer than my very own breath. That means, instead of talking to myself throughout the day, I talk to him, like I would my best friend. It’s amazing what kind words comes back in my head instead of shameful or hurtful words.
2. Forgiveness in all people, including myself is HUGE and plays a huge role in our perspective and our health.
3. Worshipping is my battle ground. It is there where I lay it down and let Him who has created all things battle it out for me. Wars have been won! I walk FROM victory, not TO victory.
4. One morning in prayer, I heard as loud as if someone was talking to me in real life, “I am comfortable with the uncomfortable.” There is a whole blog in itself, but this has made me aware of how many times I have avoided uncomfortable situations in all areas of my life. I am a peace keeper. And my natural tendency is avoiding conflict. Ah, but that is not where we as Christ followers are called. We are LOVE in the darkness…the darkness! We are not called to light in the light! Still processing this one…
5. Our words matter. My choice is words plays a big role! Just a few weeks ago, I had such a tie to anxiety. If my morning started to get chaotic, I would immediately think..oh geez, my life stinks! This is so hard! But through prayer and breakthrough, my Papa in Heaven rewrites the tablet of my heart with “I am with you always.” “I am peace.” It is there that I return my thoughts.
These are just a few things that I have learned and am still learning daily. I try not to compare myself to yesterday. It is a constant refining fire. But oh so sweet is the sound of His Grace. And don’t get me wrong, it has been through many tears and discussions and talks with people young and old and some prayers met head on with the floor of my living room in desperation…
Love to you Friends and Families…
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