When You’re Tired of Being Resilient and Flexible

Episode 34 Show Notes

When You’re Tired of Being Resilient and Flexible
Wholistic Hearts Episode 34 When You’re Tired of Being Resilient and Flexible

I sure am tired of being resilient, being flexible. Life has been full of plot twists and shifts beyond the typical temporary foreseeable future.  For most people 2020 has been a season of character development.  We are rounding out the year with another round of our world making adjustments to the ever changing pressing need of protecting ourselves from a virus.  I have a whole episode in me about the ways to actually take the offense on a healthy immune system vs a defensive position against this covid.  But that will be for next time…

This week has been a doozy around here.  For those of you who don’t know, I have been homeschooling one of my four kiddos, while the other three were in school via a hybrid system and a full time system.  The three school attendees were sent home this week because of a positive covid case in their school and many others who have been exposed. I seriously doubt we have made it almost a year without exposure to someone who has corona.  Navigating three students online, one homeschooled, and working on my podcast production business and continuing to build my own business has been tiring.  Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful for each thing.  All is a gift.  We also have been grieving as a family because we have lost two grandparents within three weeks.  There is grieving to be had around here, as well.  

Yesterday as Joshua and I were walking our Banner Dog, I said, “I’m tired of being resilient. I’m tired of being flexible.”  Do you ever feel that way? You just want to sit on the floor and just pout? I sure do. There are days when I feel on top of the world and there are days when I feel like I am standing in the middle of that quote “If you’re dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough.”  The fear of the unknown, the uncontrollable, the lack of structure really freaks me out.  So, I wanted to invite you into my process…when I feel like I just don’t have it in me to be flexible or resilient.  

First, I take a quick moment and breathe. I picture my head laying on Father God’s chest and hearing his heart beat. Aligning my own beat to his.  My anxious thoughts, my reeling head begins to slow.  I focus on the present moment.  This is all I have. This moment. How do I lean in and trust and surrender to this moment?  I will tell you that in the midst of homeschooling- I’ve never learned this more quickly in my motherhood-  be present.  Be present. Be present. Use your five senses to help ground you into the moment.  AKA mindfulness.  And trust that He is in the moment.  Even if you don’t feel Him.  Then I make a list of the 1 or 2 things I could do the rest of the hour, day, evening that will help push the needle more towards my goals.  Then,  I thank God. I list out in my journal the things I am grateful He did. And then…I rest.  And I give myself validation. It has been a lot. And that’s okay. He is building in me character and perseverance.  

That’s a little snippet of my process…and you know how that process developed? Lots of practice! Lots of asking God what works for me. Lots of working through old patterns of thinking with a coach.  Lots of digging into WHO I AM, Who He Has created me to be. The most important is the constant going back to Jesus and being real, asking for Him to reveal the Truth, and asking for help along the way.  

Resilience is vital to life.  My hats to you, Mama, Teachers, Parents who are all developing our character muscle this year.  And let’s remember that Jesus has a big hug for those of us who have become weary of the unending flexibility this season has to offer.  It’s like endless opportunities of practicing resilience.  Jesus said, “Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Then come to me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis.”  Matthew 11:28.  We have more of an opportunity than ever to discover the Truth offered here.  Do we KNOW this in the core of our being? He didn’t say we would be without trial but He did say, He is an oasis.  So, how do you turn to Jesus in the moments of weariness? Do you picture talking to Him? Do you participate in a relational interaction? He is offering refreshment…will you take a drink?  Will you accept the invitation to meet with Him? He is our oxygen. He is the reason and the explanation when people ask me all the time, “How do you do it all?”

If you don’t know how to do that, let me help you! I’d love to coach you in this process. Visit my coaching page and check it out.

Sunday Routine

Some of the most common comments I get from people when they see our big family or hear we have four kids is “I don’t know how you do it all!” I get it. It comes from a place of them trying to wrap their head around all the moving parts. And today, I’d love to share with you the tips and tricks I have found to be most helpful in trying to set up our week successfully.

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Struggling with Sleeping?

Struggling Sleeping?

Hey Mama…you struggling to go to sleep at night? Are you tossing and turning?

I have heard more than ever that people’s sleep is being affected. No doubt there is a lot of anxious energy in the air with the political environment coming to a head, the never-ending pandemic, school in and outs, etc. No wonder we are having a hard time sleeping.

 

Studies show that we, as Mamas– meaning you and me – are largely incapable of realizing that we’re sleep deprived. 

 

Or maybe we DO REALIZE IT and are begging for a solid night sleep around here.

When you’re sleep deprived, you’re largely unable to perform your best, look your best, and feel your best…

The truth of the matter is, that there’s nothing that will break you faster than poor sleep.

 

(Can I get a box of tissues please?! I seriously turn on my water works as soon as I have a poor night’s sleep)

 

On the flip side, there’s nothing that will improve your health, mood, and performance more (and more quickly) then sleeping well.

 

If you’re tired of being tired and ready for quality, restorative sleep, then you need to check out my friend Dr. Kirk Parsley’s Sleep Remedy.

 

It was originally developed for Navy SEALs, but it’s safe and effective for business owners, athletes, and stay-at-home moms and dads.

 

To get 10% OFF Sleep Remedy today so you can start getting great sleep tomorrow, click the link below, and input the code wholistichearts at checkout

 

>>Click here my mama friends to try out my special Wholistic Hearts store

15 Things I Would Say to Myself as a Young Mama

15 Things I Would Say to My Younger Mama Self

  1. God gave you your children for a reason. You are the mama for the job. RECEIVE that truth. Believe it to the core of your being.
  2. Put the “How to ….” Book down. First, lean in and study your child. You will see and notice things that a book won’t tell you about.
  3. Trust your mama gut.
  4. Put down your phone. Be present.
  5. Love the current stage they are in.
  6. Write memories down.
  7. Journal your heart- the good, the bad, the ugly.
  8. LET GO OF MOM GUILT. It ain’t helpin’ nobody.
  9. Set up boundaries for yourself and for others especially when you are in the beginnings of motherhood and trying to balance out life situations/relationships.
  10. Be intentional fill your cup during nap times. I don’t know about you but doing laundry won’t ever fill my cup.
  11. Accept what Life is- the more you resist, the more we lose out on focusing what the Lord is teaching us in the moment.
  12. Invest in counseling/coaching now. Everyone around you will thank you.
  13. Listen to your body. Your body is always whispering things. Take a moment each day and admire the beautiful creation it is and support it the best way you know how.
  14. Mama, you are not alone. Find a group of friends to do life with. Be vulnerable. Be honest. Be real. It’s worth it.
  15. Dig into who God has created you to be. You are created for this season, this moment, these children, this family…ask God for His vision and get after it.

Listen to Kristin’s latest podcast episode for more about looking back at the younger years of motherhood…

Wholistic Hearts: A Mother’s Wholehearted Christian Approach to Spiritual Growth and Transformational Healing

Want More Encouragement?

Kristin would love to come alongside you to help you navigate the stretching times of motherhood. She offers Spiritual Breakthrough Coaching and you can check it out below.  

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Word of the Year

Way back in the beginning of this wild year, we were setting our sights ahead to the upcoming year. I am always a dreamer, planner, and lover of intentions. Even though the world has had its fair share of groanings and upheaval, I still believe the word I received from the Holy Spirit is my True North in this year.

Let me take you back to the moment I heard my word…

I sat on our back porch on a warmer January morning, sipping my coffee. Family was staying at our house for our annual gift tradition, so I was taking a little moment outside to listen and ask Jesus what His word was for me this year was. I closed my eyes and asked in my mind and waited for the answer. Almost instantly, I heard “powerhouse.” I opened my eyes and immediately teared up. “No, God, not me. Don’t you know I am exhausted? My body is tired from autoimmune stuff,” I argued. In my mind, I pictured Jesus smirking. He smirked because He knew how He would guide me as He revealed more and more. He showed me a powerhouse, like a dam in a river being released to create power.

My only job was to allow the flow to go through me. No matter what, He guides me with each step. He is reminding me continually these last seven months to keep my eyes up River and trust the flow.

What’s your word? Is it beckoning you to revisit? Or shift?

Want to go deeper? Try an Encounter! My River Encounter came from this word- POWERHOUSE.

Boundaries

​If you haven’t seen Jim Gaffigan’s comedy sketch on parenting back in the day, please do yourself a favor and watch it now.  It will make you laugh. At least I hope so. 

There is a line he says with his Jim Gaffigan way, “People ask me all the time, “What’s it like having four kids? Well, imagine drowning and someone hands you a baby.”  Joshua and I laughed so hard when we first watched this skit- we were in the deep waters of having all our sweet babes so young.  

Kristin- what does this have to do with boundaries? Great question. My mind is like an endless web of intersecting connecting points…I’ll get there.  

As Joshua and I were preparing for our “Boundaries” podcast for this week’s Wholistic Hearts show,  I remembered a time as a young mom when my boundaries became known very clearly.

Back in the Days of Young a Motherhood

 Let’s take a step back in time…

I walk into the church nursery to drop off my four little children on this Sunday morning. My eye on the prize- 45 minutes of uninterrupted time of listening to the week’s message. I sign each of my twin babies whom were 1ish, check to make sure I had all the things the nursery helpers could ever possibly need in the 45 minutes- even though I was in the other room. I say goodbye and headed to door number two to drop off toddler, he starts crying and clings to our legs. I leave my husband to help ease the separation anxiety because it is just better that way. I walk away to take child #4 to her big girl class right across the hallway and say goodbye. Deep breath- in and out. I return back to toddler’s room and he is slightly better. But it is now a drawn out process of bribes and desperation. I wonder if we will make it to the service before worship ends.  Then, a sweet woman approaches me with her name badge on and asks how I am doing. I give a half hearted and exhausted, “ok.”  She tells me how they are really low on volunteers and need more people to help sign up.  Instantly, BIG FAT tears fill my eyes as I could feel my soul dripping out the last of the empty well of giving. I just want one day of the week to have 45 minutes to myself.

Back to Jim Gaffigan Joke

“Imagine your drowning, and someone hands you a baby.” That’s what it felt like. In that specific moment of way back when, I was absolutely drowning in diapers, in little to no sleep through nights on end. And then I was asked to help on a Sunday morning doing the same thing I did all week long multiplied by however many kids were in the classroom.

Disclaimer: I LOVE MY CHILDREN. I LOVE OTHER PEOPLE CHILDREN. I LOOOOOOOVE and appreciate all the amazing nursery helpers, toddler wranglers, and children’s teachers/helpers/volunteers.
AND, if loving on that age while you are a young mama is your jam- my hat is tipped to you, and God bless you. However, it was not what I could give at the time.
AND PLEASE, for the love (in my Jen Hatmaker voice) don’t ask young mamas’ to volunteer in the nursery. I promise, they will approach you if they feel the fire in their belly to volunteer.
AND all you grandmas’ out there- THE CHURCH NURSERY IS THE BEST PLACE TO VOLUNTEER!!! Give your amazing experience in the nursery, in the elementary age, in the middle school, in high school- WE WANT YOUR WISDOM!!!


Ok…now I have said my peace…

As a young mama, know your boundaries. Let your “yes” be your full cheerful wholehearted “yes.” And the word “no” is not a dirty word. And “no” is a complete sentence.

“Let giving flow from your heart, not from a sense of religious duty. Let it spring up freely from the joy of giving- all because God loves hilarious generosity.” 2 Corinthians 9:7 TPT

I give you permission to relax. Your season will come to volunteer, to deliver the meal, to say yes to the committee. Your heart is doing hard work- it’s fully loving the bundles of babies in front of you or guiding along the toddler or holding down the job and making sure you are connecting with your children. Set your boundaries. All will be thankful. Bless you Mamas. And Papas.

To listen more about boundaries, listen to our podcast.

Connecting to Our Teens

Longing for Real Connection

Each week I observed and was ignited by their gigantic faith. I observed how they feel the weight of the world just as we do. I observed the cry of their hearts longing to be seen, known, and a part of something bigger than themselves. They embraced one another. They put down their phones and picked up the wonder of encountering Jesus in an imaginative, real way.


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