Within my inner being, I have a secret. It’s a secret that maybe seeps out in different ways from time to time in what I invest our money in or through emotional responses to movies, articles, or music videos. There is a passion that is not my own. It is scary to even think about. Perhaps that is why I don’t dwell on it. This is my secret:
It all boils down to- what is the purpose of me being in this world? What is my duty as a Christian? We are called to love. To walk with Jesus…what did He do but LOVE the down and out. I look within myself and think I am above that. Jesus- take care of my needs, my desires, my wants. BUT…are we called for that? Not that He doesn’t care about those things but my little bubble is so small. The world revolves around me. THE WORLD! HA! What a funny thing to say. How completely opposite is Jesus’ heart. So…when I take away all selfishness, fear, complexities, other peoples’ opinions and dig into what Jesus has placed in my heart I am astounded at what He could do.
I long to go to a third world country and take as many orphans as I can and hug them and love them and tell them who God is. I long to adopt MANY children, to care for them. I long to save that child from abuse. I long to save that little girl from being sold into human traffiking. I long to tell those who are stuck in pornography as a way to escape and get a high from their stressed out mundane life, that there is so much more than that. I long to tell that anorexic and “cutting” preteen that they are beautiful. I long to sell all of our things and take my family across the world to show them that life does not center around us but it is about telling others of the Greatest Love Story of all…in HUMILITY! Not a proud American telling a righteous story but humbly stating a Deep Timeless Love. I long to be real with my family about who I am in Christ but I fear being rejected. I long to take a big risk and watch what God does without feeling fear creep up within me or my spouse. Oh how I long for so much more in this world. That is my secret.