Everyday is an adrenaline rush. And it is not as though I don't have help. I do. And I am so thankful for it. But there are some things that I just need to do. Like, do the laundry and actually put it away. This is one of my biggest pet peeves- not being able/or feeling like putting the laundry away. See, there is someone sleeping or trying to nap in a room where I need to put the laundry away when I am able to put the laundry away. Laundry away. LAUNDRY AWAY!!! SO MUCH LAUNDRY! I am loco from all this adrenaline.
The realization that we have four kids four years old and under is hitting. I must have been in a newborn baby-moon or something. Or maybe it is because most people think I have it together (HA!) and aren't as out there with wanting to help out. They shouldn't be. It isn't their family! And we can only afford so much of hired help. All this to say is that I just want someone to give me a shot of peace amidst my trying to juggle four little peoples' needs on top of the daily duties of the house. I am working on letting go of the silly things like unloading the dishwasher and obviously the laundry being put away…or at least I am trying to. But there comes a point where I just want to say, “BUCK UP, Kristin!” But I can't. Ugh. Hard mental day for me. Reality of four is hard to swallow. And I can't get ahead of myself but I have to. I have to preplan EVERYTHING. And I am glad I am like that after all…underneath my procrastinating college self. But sometimes, I just want to throw the towel in and say, “REALLY God?! ME?!” This is so hard. Not hard in the sense that something horrible has happened but hard in the sense that this is stretching me/challenging me every minute of the day. It's like running a marathon and being stuck on mile 20 for a really long time.
Anyway, this was my moment to step away from craziness while it is quiet for…(insert a small amount of time).