Ok, so here’s the conundrum : Breastfeed or Formula or Both.
I have such a battle everyday in my head over this issue. Why is this such a big deal to me? Well, I will tell you why-
I would love to breastfeed my twin boys everyday until a year because there is so much research done on the benefits of breastfeeding and how it is liquid gold to their little bodies. God made it so that we could produce milk (most moms) to provide the perfect nutrition punch of a drink for our newborns. It is said that it can reduce illnesses and amazingly some say it can make them more intelligent. (don’t ask me exactly where my research comes from, i am sleep deprived). it can protect against allergies and diseases. It creates a special bond that only nursing a helpless infant can do. I breastfed Ryker, proudly, for 13 months and I can boast of his brut-ness. I was in awe of his healthiness that God provided through me! It truly is a miracle. This should be enough for me to stay motivated………right?!
And then there is formula. Formula is an amazing supplement to help babies thrive. It is easier to hand off one of the twins to someone else to help me feed them at the same time. Instead of one screaming while I try to nurse the other, I can simply ask for help to feed and they both will be satisfied at the same time. (There is nothing more gut wrenching as a mom to have to choose which newborn to feed first when they are both screaming). Bonding occurs with both the parents instead of just me. I have seen Copeland survive and be a healthy girl despite not being breastfed for more than a few months. It gave me sanity and the ability to selfishly have “me” time. Every three hours nursing or pumping is just plain hard. And my lack of hormones from nursing should be a motivator in itself.
Some people say to me, “Oh you are too hard on yourself. You have two older kids, too!” As if to give me permission to do formula. But why is it such a big deal to me? What is my fear? Am I realizing the affects of these precious baby boys being my last? I know I feel the mommy guilt more than anything. What if I give up and they get sick? Am I a quitter? Would I give up purely for selfish reasons? Is that a good enough reason to give up?
I guess for now my conclusion is this: I will continue to feed them either one…whichever is convenient. But I am such a black/white person that this will bother me each day I am wishy washy until my mind is made up. I know one day I will look back, as I have on my other children and say, “Wow, why did I make such a fuss about formula vs. breastfeeding?”