Day four of my two weeks at home with no childwatch or “to-do’s” to get us here and there throughout the day and I have to say it has opened my heart to really purely enjoying motherhood. In the throws of this crappy sickness stuff that seems to have a good grip on all of us, I am experiencing joy and thankfulness to be home. Each day we send off Copeland to preschool with no stress of having to get somewhere else within five minutes of her leaving the house. We simply are there. At home. With nothing pressing except feeding and training babies and loving on Ryker for the morning. Every day has been amazing in the morning…even with the twins protesting in the background of nap schedules. It has been beautiful outside so Ryker and I have just sat outside and played all morning. We have dug in the dirt, rescued “people” with our rescue truck, sat in the back of the parked loaned truck and pretended to go off roading, played soccer, played football…And when the twins have woken up from their much needed rest we all sit outside and eat a snack. Then we transition inside…Ry ends up playing in the kitchen sink (my secret to thoroughly washing his hands) while I make lunches. Then we go outside in the front yard this time and wait for Copey to return home from her school adventures. Ry couldn’t be more excited for his big sis to come back home and read him books before nap time. And then the morning ends…a sweet and precious morning. Despite the illnesses, I am filled with joy as I have truly enjoyed my kids. This is what I was made to do. This is my purpose. It is awesome to feel in the thick of what I am made for. To be honest, I think this is one of the first times in motherhood since Copey was born that I honestly feel this way. This statement is funny for many reasons…of course, I have felt like this is what I am supposed to do. But really, really, really it has hit me. I am probably at my 2nd weakest, psychologically, in my life and I can truly say I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
PS…Last night I went to Target, by myself, and must have seen four families with four year olds…each one cracked me up. They were asking their parents questions like, “Does God make you die?” and running from an army father who looked like he just got back from deployment. And still in my heart, I yearned to kiss and hang with my Copey.