To Be Honest…

xray

The reality is when we skip over being human, we skip over the opportunity to allow the Savior to be our Savior.  Here in the mess- the humanness of our hearts is exactly where we meet our closest friend. We invite Jesus into the mess. I have to be honest with myself and with Jesus about those deep rooted emotions and worries and places of exhaustion.  It’s a process. If I skip the step of process, I only pretend to have a wholeheart.

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Pursuing Connection

I wasn’t getting any better. I started methodically asking myself if there was a place for me to turn around. I needed to get out of this line of traffic. I began to feel panic. I was sweating and starting to nervously shake. I tried changing the music I was listening to. I tried praying. I tried breathing in for five, holding for five, and releasing for five- it only made it worse.

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A January Recap for Wholistic Hearts

Time to do our monthly recap of The Wholistic Hearts podcast.

We kicked off the 2021 year with pursuing wholehearted, holistic living. We are called to live a life abundantly, and I believe it is when we step into wholeness with our whole heart, mind, soul, and spirit. Each episode was deliberate picked for the start of 2021 so that we can have a foundational truth on which to ground ourselves.

I had the pleasure of talking about what self care looks like in this season in a holistic approach.

Then we had a beautiful conversation with Darlene Kalawe about wholehearted, honest faith. It was filled with refreshing vulnerability and honesty.

The next week we talked about holistic nutrition with one of the best Transformational Coaches, Ashley Brooke Harbour.

And wrapping up the month of January, I dropped a new encounter to help us step into more of God's peace.

You can take a listen to all the January episodes below or on most of the podcast platforms.

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15 Things I Would Say to Myself as a Young Mama

15 Things I Would Say to My Younger Mama Self

  1. God gave you your children for a reason. You are the mama for the job. RECEIVE that truth. Believe it to the core of your being.
  2. Put the “How to ….” Book down. First, lean in and study your child. You will see and notice things that a book won't tell you about.
  3. Trust your mama gut.
  4. Put down your phone. Be present.
  5. Love the current stage they are in.
  6. Write memories down.
  7. Journal your heart- the good, the bad, the ugly.
  8. LET GO OF MOM GUILT. It ain't helpin' nobody.
  9. Set up boundaries for yourself and for others especially when you are in the beginnings of motherhood and trying to balance out life situations/relationships.
  10. Be intentional fill your cup during nap times. I don't know about you but doing laundry won't ever fill my cup.
  11. Accept what Life is- the more you resist, the more we lose out on focusing what the Lord is teaching us in the moment.
  12. Invest in counseling/coaching now. Everyone around you will thank you.
  13. Listen to your body. Your body is always whispering things. Take a moment each day and admire the beautiful creation it is and support it the best way you know how.
  14. Mama, you are not alone. Find a group of friends to do life with. Be vulnerable. Be honest. Be real. It's worth it.
  15. Dig into who God has created you to be. You are created for this season, this moment, these children, this family…ask God for His vision and get after it.

Listen to Kristin's latest podcast episode for more about looking back at the younger years of motherhood…

Wholistic Hearts: A Mother's Wholehearted Christian Approach to Spiritual Growth and Transformational Healing

Want More Encouragement?

Kristin would love to come alongside you to help you navigate the stretching times of motherhood. She offers Spiritual Breakthrough Coaching and you can check it out below.  

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Boundaries

​If you haven’t seen Jim Gaffigan’s comedy sketch on parenting back in the day, please do yourself a favor and watch it now.  It will make you laugh. At least I hope so. 

There is a line he says with his Jim Gaffigan way, “People ask me all the time, “What’s it like having four kids? Well, imagine drowning and someone hands you a baby.”  Joshua and I laughed so hard when we first watched this skit- we were in the deep waters of having all our sweet babes so young.  

Kristin- what does this have to do with boundaries? Great question. My mind is like an endless web of intersecting connecting points…I’ll get there.  

As Joshua and I were preparing for our “Boundaries” podcast for this week’s Wholistic Hearts show,  I remembered a time as a young mom when my boundaries became known very clearly.

Back in the Days of Young a Motherhood

 Let’s take a step back in time…

I walk into the church nursery to drop off my four little children on this Sunday morning. My eye on the prize- 45 minutes of uninterrupted time of listening to the week’s message. I sign each of my twin babies whom were 1ish, check to make sure I had all the things the nursery helpers could ever possibly need in the 45 minutes- even though I was in the other room. I say goodbye and headed to door number two to drop off toddler, he starts crying and clings to our legs. I leave my husband to help ease the separation anxiety because it is just better that way. I walk away to take child #4 to her big girl class right across the hallway and say goodbye. Deep breath- in and out. I return back to toddler’s room and he is slightly better. But it is now a drawn out process of bribes and desperation. I wonder if we will make it to the service before worship ends.  Then, a sweet woman approaches me with her name badge on and asks how I am doing. I give a half hearted and exhausted, “ok.”  She tells me how they are really low on volunteers and need more people to help sign up.  Instantly, BIG FAT tears fill my eyes as I could feel my soul dripping out the last of the empty well of giving. I just want one day of the week to have 45 minutes to myself.

Back to Jim Gaffigan Joke

“Imagine your drowning, and someone hands you a baby.” That’s what it felt like. In that specific moment of way back when, I was absolutely drowning in diapers, in little to no sleep through nights on end. And then I was asked to help on a Sunday morning doing the same thing I did all week long multiplied by however many kids were in the classroom.

Disclaimer: I LOVE MY CHILDREN. I LOVE OTHER PEOPLE CHILDREN. I LOOOOOOOVE and appreciate all the amazing nursery helpers, toddler wranglers, and children’s teachers/helpers/volunteers.
AND, if loving on that age while you are a young mama is your jam- my hat is tipped to you, and God bless you. However, it was not what I could give at the time.
AND PLEASE, for the love (in my Jen Hatmaker voice) don’t ask young mamas’ to volunteer in the nursery. I promise, they will approach you if they feel the fire in their belly to volunteer.
AND all you grandmas’ out there- THE CHURCH NURSERY IS THE BEST PLACE TO VOLUNTEER!!! Give your amazing experience in the nursery, in the elementary age, in the middle school, in high school- WE WANT YOUR WISDOM!!!


Ok…now I have said my peace…

As a young mama, know your boundaries. Let your “yes” be your full cheerful wholehearted “yes.” And the word “no” is not a dirty word. And “no” is a complete sentence.

“Let giving flow from your heart, not from a sense of religious duty. Let it spring up freely from the joy of giving- all because God loves hilarious generosity.” 2 Corinthians 9:7 TPT

I give you permission to relax. Your season will come to volunteer, to deliver the meal, to say yes to the committee. Your heart is doing hard work- it’s fully loving the bundles of babies in front of you or guiding along the toddler or holding down the job and making sure you are connecting with your children. Set your boundaries. All will be thankful. Bless you Mamas. And Papas.

To listen more about boundaries, listen to our podcast.

You Can’t Make This S*$#% Up

I’m gonna say it. 

I think my testimony will be called, “You can’t make this shit up.”

I know, that’s offensive to some of you. It was to me, too. And that’s okay. But really…Holy Spirit is wild and so very liberating. 

When I first started learning about the Holy Spirit, the wildest things were happening. I had driven up to a retreat (WE REVEL) where I witnessed healing happen left and right: healing of hearts and healing of physical ailments, which totally blew my mind that this was real.  I was witnessing women of faith stop and listen and then speak things to people so specifically to people to encourage them.  I watched people give gifts to other people they had never met and witness their reaction to receiving such a personalized handwritten note.  

Then… this was where it got personal for me.  I was listening to one of the speakers at the retreat as I sat on their living room floor. I instantly found my ears perked up as she said, “Become aware of the things which you can’t stand. Sometimes the enemy will put his thumb on something that he knows is actually a provision from God to prevent you from fully walking in your destiny.” 

My first thought was a peacock.  I hated peacocks; I truly found them annoying. We have a local zoo which they roam freely in and squawk and display their feathers in a “look at me” fashion.  Each time we visited and saw them my gut reaction was, “They are so vain.”  Well, at the retreat, I wrote down in my journal- “Oh! Like the peacock!” Later on that day, I was sitting down to decorate my journal I had received with different varieties of scrapbook paper, and I noticed a giant piece of paper with a peacock. I thought to myself, “Huh. That’s funny,” and stuck it in my journal.  Again, we gathered up to hear a speaker and she handed out a prayer which printed on the paper was…a peacock.  Now my eyes became more attune to what the Holy Spirit was saying.  My faith was beginning to build. I had hoped He would speak to me, but I was so cautious. I didn’t want to get burned and feel silly and humiliated by even thinking He was directly talking to me. 

Fast forward to the evening at the retreat where we talk about the Holy Spirit.  They were handing out scarves as a gift- which is powerfully significant- (you should really go to a REVEL retreat)…The leader stops and says, “I feel like Holy Spirit has another scarf for someone that is different than this one I am handing out.”  Another woman attending stands up immediately and says, “I have one I am supposed to give away. Hold on, it’s in my suitcase.”  She runs to her luggage and comes bounding back in the room with joy and describes how she packed and unpacked the scarf multiple times and finally put it in her suitcase.  It was a peacock scarf! I stood up, shaking…and said “Oh it’s definitely mine!”  I was stunned. I was hopeful. I was instantly like a little child in wonder. 

I arrived at the retreat with the burning question, “Who is the Holy Spirit?” And through using nudges and words which might have been insignificant to others started a path of asking more of who is He and who am I? The next day I wrote down for the first time- I am His Peacock, displaying the colors He has created me to be.  I stepped into a place I’d never gone. I started to see how I had hid my beauty, covered up, and been ashamed of my feminity. The enemy no longer had the tightest grip on who I am called to be.  It was now a time of discovery and relationship and intimacy of asking questions with the Holy Spirit. 

He is so full of wonder and mystery.  He is infinite. He is intentionally with me. He is whispering to the deep places of my heart and yours. 

The Peacock Scarf and Journal

The Body Speaks- Loving and Accepting Our Whole Selves

Nine years ago, I was in so much physical torment. My feet felt like fire ants were stuck inside the bottom of my foot. My skin raw and blistering from the uncontrollable itching. Sleep was not an option with this intense rash on my feet which lasted for 5-7 days for years upon years. Questions played through my mind like a scroll that never ended. Why did it have to come every 21 days? Why could no one answer what was happening to my body? Why doesn't medicine help? I went to doctors desperate for answers and each one giving me the look like, “Hmm…I don't know what it is.” Referral after referral I got no where. I felt at the end of my rope over and over. Each month being hopeful that something would help- prayer, essential oils, supplements, medicine, etc.

But each month I felt like I was slapped in the face. After seven years of torment, I had a major epiphany. My husband sat next to me while I cried in frustration and said this pivotal annoying profound question, “Babe, what if it doesn't go away?” I felt like an instant pouting child. I so wanted it to heal. I wanted healing desperately. I wanted breakthrough. I hated how my body was acting. There was a legit anger at my body for creating this rash every month. But something within me started to shift as I pondered this question. I started saying, “Even if the rash comes back, my body is still a temple. God gives me strength to be okay. I can still be a mom who loves her kids well. I can still show up.”

In the ugly moments of insomnia and racing mind, I began to see Jesus in the midst. I do not believe He caused this situation but I do believe He has taught me more than I could have without the rash.

Fast forward a few years past the conversation with my hubby, and the rash still continues though it seems it is fading. I have worked with my functional lifestyle coach for many years to discover the beauty of my relationship with my body. I am learning to love the parts of my body which speak very loudly especially when it comes to the rash. I am learning to trust what it is saying instead of fight against it.

Our body is telling us a story, and it is our job to listen. Sooner or later if we ignore it long enough, it will yell instead of whisper. Our body is a tool to listen. God uses the most amazing ways to speak with us. Through this thought process, I have spent multiple hours praying and asking what the feet represent. He answers. In your body, what is it saying? What is the Lord saying through your heavenly temple? Develop a relationship with your body which is based on love and not hatred. As I emerge from years of this place of hatred to a place of love, I continue to find freedom from pain, self-judgement, and walk more into who He has created me to be.

Do you need help guiding you through these conversations? I'd love to come alongside and coach you through. Contact me here.

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